Since money is often the source of so much stress, I think money humor is essential to maintaining sanity.
Joke 1
An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
The lawyer was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you,” he exclaimed. “I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000.”
Joke 2
Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Joke 3
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?”
Joke 4
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell you are doing?”
“Well,” said the guy, “You see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” the guy replied. “I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?”
Joke 5
Teacher: Johnny, If you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
There was a time when anyone who questioned the authority of the IRS was viewed as a crackpot (despire the fact that the IRS has long been the most hated institution in America). But the times they are a’changing. With Republican presidential candidates Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee calling for the abolition of the IRS, the idea of no more IRS is going mainstream.
And in case you think getting rid of the IRS is just an obscure, middle-class right-wing idea, know that there are both liberals and libertarians who despise the IRS for being a bloated bureaucracy that victimizes the poor, the uneducated, and the working-class (you know, the people that can’t afford to hire tax lawyers to defend them from the IRS).
So to get you in the wrong frame of mind as the tax season nears, here’s a video excerpt from the documentary From Freedom To Facism on the problem with the IRS and the Income Tax:
A recent brain-scan study by the University of Bonn supports the findings of previous studies by Dartsmouth College and Warwirck University which showed that our happiness is partly determined by whether our income is larger than those around us. It’s not about how much you make, it’s about how much more you make than your neighbor or co-worker.
Once you really think about it, you might find this is more true about yourself than you care to admit. I will admit that I struggle with it at times. Our family has made conscious decisions about our lifestyle and finances that involve making certain sacrifices. Even though we are comfortable with the choices we have made, there are times when we look around us and feel like we have much less than the other people in our lives.
It’s easy to become envious of others financial positions when you’re judging the book by it’s cover. When we look at the financial lives of others we usually only see what they want us to see. For example, the down payment on your co-worker’s new house may have come from an insurance pay-off as a result of his mother dying and not from a raise in his pay as you had assumed. I once knew a family that appeared to have everything and everyone was jealous of their success until their world was crushed under the ever-increasing debt that fueled their lifestyle. If you knew the reality of the Joneses finances, you might not be so keen on keeping up with them.
I’m always looking for new information on the psychology of money because I figure the more I understand about it, the more likely it is I’ll recognize when my financial behavior is being driven by something other than rational deliberations.
You won’t catch me anywhere near a store on “Black Friday”. As cheap as I may be, I want no part of that madness. But since I know there are those braver than I, here’s a video to help you prepare for the shopping melee:
This is a SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE skit that is so dead-on in it’s message, it should be broadcast regularly as a Public Service Announcement. You probably know people like the ones in this video, I know I do.
HOW TO MANAGE YOUR MONEY
I plan on sending this video to some friends and relatives in hopes they’ll take the hint!
A weekly, themed batch of worthy readings or links relevant to your wallet…
Hitting the road is less expensive than flying or going by train but if you don’t plan wisely, it can quickly become more expensive than you expected it to be.
Don’t Fall For Fake Gas Coupons
About.com explains the gas coupon risks and has alternative suggestions for saving money on gas.
Hotel And Motel Discounts
Room$aver simply helps you locate room discounts and connects you directly to the hotel’s website so you can reserve your room.
GasBuddy.com
Gas Buddy lets you track down the lowest gas prices anywhere in the US or Canada. Handy year round, not just for holiday road trips!
Fast Food Coupons
Save money while eating on the road! Here are links to fast food coupons and you don’t have to become a member of a web site to get them.
Family Travel Safety Tips
Tips to avoid becoming a victim of crime while you’re on the road. Have a plan to protect your family and your valuables!
Pets Welcome?
Speaking from experience, you can waste a whole lot of time and gas driving around trying to find a hotel or motel that allows pets. Check this site out before travelling with your pet!
Thirty Gas Saving Tips
Just what it says- 30 practical tips to save money on gas including how to buy gas plus driving and maintenance tips.
